I can’t even contain the emotion tonight. I somehow managed not to cry while watching The Pursuit of Happyness, but then I read a blog that I sometimes frequent and I’m a blubbering mess.
Life hasn’t been my “ideal” lately, and I’m ok with that. It’s painful at times, and frustrating, but I know that whatever His plan for me is much greater than what I can even dream. So I do my best to keep the faith, and keep plodding along with a smile on my face, even when I want to cry.
I’ve never broken a bone or had surgery (except wisdom teeth, which I don’t consider as surgery because I was awake for the painful ordeal). I’ve barely even been sick, really. So it was quite the shock to go to the ER for pain in the abdomen and be admitted for two days. Apparently I had an ectopic pregnancy in the making. I was only about 1 month along, but it was growing in my tubes, which could be fatal. My doctor wanted to operate, but . . . why cut, when there are other methods?? She offered me a shot that would essentially “dry up” the pregnancy. I said, sure. So I got the shot, and it should dry up, right? Hopefully that’s the case. I’ve got a week more of bedrest with frequent blood draws to ensure that’s what happens. I’m sure it will–it’s just a matter of time.
So far I’ve had 22 vials of blood drawn in the past 2 weeks, and I’ve done amazingly well. For the gal who used to faint at measly little tetanus shots, I’m nothing short of amazed that I’ve not even been woozy once.
I’m terrified of doctors, hospitals and nurses. It’s all just too clean, sterile and boring for me. But I’ve been blessed with one of the friendliest country hospitals you could imagine, with the same sweet nurses who were by my side during the two-days of labor last year with Ava. It was a joyful reunion when I saw them.
I’ve been blessed with a Bishop who is so caring and compassionate. One who never complains about driving over to give us a blessing, and there have been many. One who takes the time to sit and listen, and just share stories.
I’ve been blessed with a Father in Heaven who knows exactly what I need to hear and when I need to hear it. He always manages to find the right way to speak to me, whether it’s through the words of a blessing, hymns, or even the words of bloggers like you, the message comes through loud and clear. I’m so grateful for that.
When I think of what I want for my daughter, I want her to be happy, healthy and feel loved. I know that’s the same exact thing that my Heavenly Father wants for me (and you too!) If you haven’t felt that in a while, come closer to Him. Take the steps necessary to commit a little further. If you already feel like you are committed to Him, but you still don’t see it– take a step back from your life. He is there. We may not always see Him. We definitely don’t always understand. But I can attest that He is there. And I’m grateful for that.