This past weekend, our family and my sister’s family had planned on making the trip down to Washington, DC to go to the temple. It’s been much too long since Dan & I have been there, and Jess & Joe were going for the first time since he was baptized last year. So exciting!
So we get to the church at 5:30am, all prepared to go—to find out that the bus doesn’t have seatbelts. How in the world could she take Nathaniel (a flailing 18 months)? How would I deal with Ava on the turns? We decided it was best that we not take the youngest kids, so Dan & I volunteered to stay home for Ava & Nathaniel.
By about 1 pm, we were getting cabin fever, so we throw the kids in the car and go to do some Christmas shopping. Toys R Us wasn’t bad–Dan & I both grabbed carts and strapped each kid in. Pier One wasn’t bad either.
Then we get to B&N. Years ago, I would spend days sitting in the overstuffed chairs, perusing books. Today would be vastly different. Dan needed a book. But what do we do with 2 kids, while he’s using two hands to evaluate books and decide which would be best? This would be the *perfect* time for that 2 seater stroller Dan’s mom bought for us. Too bad it’s in Rhode Island. So we settle for the big Graco stroller. One will be strapped in, the other carried.
I know. It’s a recipe for disaster. Someone starts talking to Dan in the aisle, and 30 minutes later, Dan left with a freelance gig for the guy. I’m left with two squiggly wiggly kids under 18 months old.
I looked ridiculous carrying the two kids (one in each arm) and pushing the stroller, but it had to be done to prevent major temper tantrums. People were pointing, gasping, and politely trying to get out of the way. As I knocked over the cardboard display that took up half the aisle, a kind woman stopped to help me pick up all of the books (as Nathaniel runs off!)
It was a comedy of errors, but it was wonderful. Dan & I often talk of growing our little family. We’ve only just started, getting married under 2 years ago. Ava was our first little surprise. She came a little earlier than we planned, but we love her and wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, we’d love to have many more, or at least 5 or 6 siblings for her.
When you think about enlarging your family, what are some of the questions and concerns that come to your mind? Was it or is it a difficult or an easy decision to declare yourself ‘done’ with having children? If your family is already complete, feel free to share the questions you had as you faced the issue in the past. When you decided, did you decide once and for all, or did you find yourself revisiting the question over and over?
As we think about enlarging our brood, we worry slightly about finances, as do most couples. Yet finances will work themselves out. They always do.
My biggest concern is safe, healthy pregnancies. I didn’t get married until I was 28, which meant I didn’t have a child until I was 29. Many women have had 3 or 4 (or more!) by my age. Some are even determining they are done before 30. I can’t.
I can’t escape the fact that I want a large family. I can’t escape the fact that I think Dan & I have a lifestyle that is perfect for raising kids. We aren’t perfect people, but we want to become better through our kids. I’ve said before that I’ve learned more of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness from Ava, than I have from 29 years of scripture study.
We’re totally open to adopting, but we’d like to wait a bit to see how many of our own children we have. As my ob/gyn said on my first post-marriage visit: “You’re very fertile.”