One of my friends on LDS Linkup asked how resistant to change are we. This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Within the past year, I’ve quit my job, gotten married, had a baby and moved from Gotham City to the “only town in PA”. My life lately has been one big, awesome ball of change.
But that’s not all that much different from my childhood. I went to no less than four kindergartens: one in Vietnamese, one in ASL/English, and two regular English-speaking ones. After kindergarten, we moved at least once a year until I hit the middle of 6th grade. And we’re not talking about moving across town, we moved cross country each time. Obviously, I grew up with change. It was a part of me. To some extent, I thrived on change. I knew that if something wasn’t going perfectly, we’d be moving soon so I could start over and hope to create the “perfect” situation in the new place. I can’t count how many times I tried to reinvent myself. I started thinking of myself as a chameleon– I can blend into whatever situation I am thrown into.
Yet after living in New York City for 7 years, I finally normalized my life. I had stability. I had long lasting friends. This was something I never really experienced growing up. To some extent, childhood friends were disposable as relationships are never the same cross country. But it was different in New York. I was one of the longest lasting singles in the young singles ward. There was a close group of friends that I met when I moved to Gotham, and we’re still friends today even though many have married and moved on. But this was what made the move to PA so hard. I was leaving behind the only time I had a stable, secure life.
I’ve adjusted so maybe Morris Massey, the theorist that said whatever your worldview is like at age 10 will be your “normal” (barring “significant emotional event”), was right. I’m not sure. I think the adjustment period was a little easier because I knew this was a change for the better. We moved so that I could stay at home with Ava, rather than relegating her care to a day care facility or a nanny while I worked. This move also brought my sister and I closer, as we basically raise our kids together. It’s brought Dan and I together as we cling more to each other, rather than relying on friends. We know that our little family is the most important thing to us, and we’re willing to make the needed sacrifices to make this work. Sometimes it’s hard– it’s not easy to change spending habits, but we’re making it work–together. And that’s what’s most important.
Thanks to Laurie for prompting this post and Jahn for theoretical information.