My wife and I were talking this evening over dinner about some experiences we had at BYU as undergrads. A fascinating thing about our undergraduate days at BYU is that we never met there, even though we both studied politics at about the same time! When we get to heaven, I am going to review the record in my brain to see if I ever did set my eyes on her while there! 🙂
In any case, Annie reminisced about when she ran for vice-president of the BYUSA. We were talking about our marriage. I had told her that I generally am the man now that I always have been, fundamentally. God has refined me and I’ve matured, but in the way I treat others, I’ve remained generally the same. She has said she is very happy with who I am now. It had reminded her of the man who ran as president of BYUSA when she ran as his VP. One day she had talked to this man’s girlfriend about him. Annie could tell the girlfriend was hesitant. Upon conversing further, the girlfriend said, as to why she is marrying him, “I don’t love him for the man he is; I love him for the man he will be.”
It struck both of us as a very interesting comment. If you can’t like, or even love, the person who you are going to marry now, are you really going to actually get the person you think you will? It seems some people in the church get into marriage thinking that their spouse will improve come the afterlife…..but if there is no love now, there won’t be any love then.
I didn’t fall in love with the Annie that will be. I fell in love with the Annie that is. I didn’t marry her for what she will be, but for what she is now. The great thing is that I know that I will continue improving, as will she, and the love we have now for each other will only grow.
It seems a big risk marrying someone for what you think they will be in the future…..it’s probably better to try and fall in love wth who they are now.